June 2012
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“But people can’t, unhappily, invent their mooring posts, their lovers and...”
– James Baldwin (Giovanni’s Room) — Baldwin seems to be a delightful fusion of Fitzgerald and Isherwood and I couldn’t be happier.
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The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by...
It seems only appropriate to compose a review of this book now given the sudden comic book news that’s been filtering through the internet over the last few days.
In case you missed it, there are a growing number of fairies in the comic book universe. Northstar is set to marry his “civilian” partner in an issue of Astonishing X-Men, Marvel revealed that their newest incarnation...
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START Treaty Aggregate Numbers of Strategic...
I didn’t know that you could get regular updates from the state department through your email. I wish I had subscribed to their mailing list sooner since it seems to be a more unbiased source of information than our media. This morning I woke up to the following startling numbers… Perhaps START stands for Strategic Arms Retention Treaty now?
Deployed ICBMs, Deployed SLBMs, and...
May 2012
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Hairdressers
Me: I've come to the conclusion that the gigglier and dumber the hairdresser looks and sounds, the better my hair will look at the end.
Monica: Brains and great hair rarely go hand in hand. They make one top heavy.
Me: Fair point. Her own hair was horrid and she was one of those high pitched girls that we make fun of but, I must admit, she's found her calling.
Monica: I can't pretend to be condescending about it. I envy the girl with a 'do and a trade skill.
Note: I miss my Hammer.
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Good News/Bad News
The Good News
After pestering my department’s secretary and the Dean of Admissions, Georgetown finally awarded me financial aid! It’s not much, but they have decided to waive one of my class fees each semester. I should be able to secure more aid next semester and next year but this is certainly a good start.
My great uncle and his husband are finally back in Palm Springs and sent me...
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Guild Wars 2
I know. I should be playing Diablo III. I hear it’s like sex and sunshine and rainbows and happiness (with added gore, hell demons, and flying jars of bees). I am horribly jealous of those of you who are playing it. Really, I am. But I just can’t afford to buy two sixty dollar games this month. I need to buy a suit, a heavy winter jacket, put down a rent deposit and I need a haircut....
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“Every golden age is as much a matter of disregard as of felicity.”
– Michael Chabon (The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay) - Review to follow soon.
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A Local Newspaper
I try to avoid our local newspaper. It’s horribly written, it leans right, and it doesn’t offer much substance. The New York Times is a much better bet if you really want to read about current events. Sadly, without my trusty Kindle or a handy copy of the NYT, I found myself reaching for the Enterprise Record yesterday while I was on break. Inside the poorly printed pages of our local...
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cumshaw:n: present, tip, or gratuity
For a moment, I bet you thought this word meant something else. It’s ok. I hadn’t heard of “cumshaw” before today either. If you enjoy crude humor and making people uncomfortable and you happen to be in the company of people who aren’t familiar with dated words, you can create stunning confusion with a number of relatively general statements. For example, “The...
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The Great Calamity
Every corner of the internet seems to have commented on Baz Lehrmann’s The Great Gatsby so I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer my own opinion (I’M A BLOGGER, BRO).
After watching the infamous trailer, however, I felt obligated to curl up with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby and my VHS copy of The Great Gatsby (ft. the indomitable Mia Farrow and the SEXPOT Robert...
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Obesity
Selina: I had to pull the plug on Clean Jobs, I'm about to go to France, and now POTUS gives me obesity.
Selina: I'll tell you something else too. This is deliberate, Amy. The President knows how uncomfortable I am made by *whispers* fat people.
Selina: You want to know the secret to keep weight off? Shut your fucking pie hole. How about that? It's not rocket science! I'm not a nutritionist, am I? No, I'm not. But I do know one thing, you gotta put the corn dog down, you gotta get up off your dead one, and get moving.
Amy: That might actually be a good slogan for this...
Selina: Oh my God, it's weakness! That's really all it is. Pure and simple. It's weakness. It's about self control. You don't masturbate in the subway do you Amy? No, you don't. Do you shit in the street, Amy? No, of course you don't! Because you've gotten a hold of yourself! And now I have to say what? "I'm the Vice President of the United States, put the cupcake down!" Oh for fuck's sakes!
Amy: ...Have you ever had a weight problem?
Selina: Yeah, I have.
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Some Nerdy Links
Over the last week, my brother has sent me a number of great videogame related links. I thought I’d share some of my favorites here:
Console to Closet - Why didn’t I find this sooner?! The Wheatley outfit is particularly appealing. Zaychik- LOOK AT THE PYRAMID HEAD ONE!
Mass Effect’s Squadmate Cocktails - Some of these are wonderful and some of them are…not so wonderful....
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The Typewriter
He sat at the computer and stared blankly at the glowing screen before him. The man was thin and his skin leathery. Today, like most days, he wore a printed sleeveless t-shirt that sported a naked mermaid swimming lazily down his back toward the waist of his denim cut offs. His thinning black hair was tied back in a lengthy ponytail that, almost deliberately, bisected the mermaid’s breasts....
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“One of Ivan the Terrible’s errors was that he failed to knife through five...”
– Josef Stalin (1948) - Commenting on his historical idol and his own terrifying “chistki” in 1937 and 1938
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Sam Wolfe Connelly Does Magic →
It would appear that Mr. Connelly illustrated a few cards for the Avacyn Restored (he posted them here) set of Magic cards that came out a few weeks ago.
My crush deepens.
In other news, I managed to win a few more games with my beloved zombie deck. It does quite well against most opponents but I’ve decided that a sideboard of more specialized cards could serve me well. To that end, I...
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Mingle
Amy: Do you want to mingle with them?
VEEP: Yeah. Let's go mingle the shit out of them.
Note: This is my internal dialogue at party that I've ever attended. Sometimes, depending on how much liquor I've consumed, I respond with a negative and move closer to the bottle of vodka.
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“I charge you as I was charged. Don’t waste your life. Don’t allow...”
– Michael Chabon (The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay) — I’m enjoying this.
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The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society...
I enjoyed this book in the same way that I enjoy drinking Earl Grey tea in the rain. Such a fleeting activity lacks nourishing substance but it’s undeniably pleasurable.
While Ms. Ann Shaffer and Ms. Barrows’ short read addresses a number of topics (including the German occupation of the Channel Islands), the book’s most important message is related to the power of literature....
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It hurts to leave...
Me: These tears are unacceptable.
Monica: Fuck
Me: That about says it all. Tears, snot, and pillow.
Me: Goddammit. Every time we pass something... I didn't even know I *had* these memories!
Monica: Oh fucking shit stop it. I just cannot
Monica: Why do people bother making friends?
Me: Messages from the boys. My hanky is wet. I am a lucky fucker.
Monica: Indeed you are...never take your friends for granted.
Note: The last line is an inside joke.
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And so it goes...
They walked in students and the marched out graduates. In the immortal words of the Mr. Vonnegut, “so it goes”.
Congratulations to Ms. Monica, Mr. Sneen, Ms. McMackin, Mr. Saylors and Ms. Artru. I am so proud of you guys and I wish you all the best in your future endevours.
...
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Graduate School: The Dream Team
I received a number of emails yesterday from the other incoming MA students in the MAGIC program at Georgetown. The resulting email exchange intimidated me beyond reason but, with the motherly support of Ms. Monica, I’m doing my best to keep a level head.
On a related note, I suppose I always knew that email was a terrible way to “meet” someone but it wasn’t until this...
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Messages from the Homefront
Dad: *lengthy pause* Well...I hope you're not dead at the bottom of a river somewhere. I haven't heard from you in a few days so I guess that's a good sign... No calls from the authorities is usually a good sign. Well...Call me back.
Brother *via text*: Dad's worried that you're dead somewhere. Respond.
Me *via text*: I forgot to call him back until it was too late. I'm fine! I swear! I'll call him later!
Brother *via text*: Ok. He's less worried now.
Dad *second voicemail*: STERRRIIIKKKEEEE TWO!
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I Love Taiwan
Cooking Instructions for Orchids Brand Rice Noodles Use cold water to wash the Rice Sticks then put it in a container. (No soaking) Please do not wash it with hot water, for our product has been cooked.
Wait to 3-5 minutes (even longer) until the Rice Sticks soften, then it is ready for cooking.
Put 1 spoon of oil, green onion, shrimp, pork, mixed vegetables, or other condiments, add a...
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“Oh, no, we’re paying separately.”
– Monica to vendor(s) - Everywhere we go, Monica and I look are mistaken for a traveling couple. From the cameras and bags, to the rolled shorts and sensible shoes, it would be hard for us to argue otherwise. We do look like tourists (or, as my dad likes to say, “touristas”) and...
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Army of the Damned
I’m rather proud of this technological terror deck that I’ve constructed. It is capable of doing serious damage over time and it’s more adaptable than I initially thought possible. Unfortunately, I need to replace Reap the Seagraf x4 but I’m not entirely sure what to replace them with. Any ideas? I thought about picking up another Doomblade, adding a fourth Ghoulraiser, and...
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mucilage: n: a sticky substance used as an...
Michael Chabon uses this word in one of the first chapters of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and, when I came to it, I had to look it up in the OED. Unfortunately, given the official definition, I think Mr. Chabon uses “mucilage” incorrectly. That said, Monica and I have had a great deal of fun talking about mucilage in the last few days. It’s a fun word to say and,...
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What ingredients does it take to make you? →
equivoque:
What ingredients does it take to make you?
Marri is made of kitty cats, rhinos, and dullness. With a dash of Holmes.
Bryan is made of vodka, geekiness, and shades of blue. With a dash of camp.
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“Sidney, in these past two or three years, I have become better at writing than...”
– Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society) - Finished! Review to follow soon.
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Lessons
Today I learned a few valuable lessons about the internet and life in general:
Think before you post.
When you meet someone, ask them what their ideal gift is. It will save you time later.
Some people (particularly Russian still living with political fallout from the collapse of the USSR) probably won’t publish their family trees online. Related note: Личное = private
Even if the sky...
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Greed: Makes Millions
Get excited.
My dear digital Russian friend and fellow uncouth male Mr. Mikhail Popov managed to make a break in the video game industry the other day and he deserves your accolades. Frankly, I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this kind of success. The other day the lovely Swedish folk at Paradox Interactive gave expressed some interest his iOS game “Greed: Make History”...
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“Have you ever noticed that when your mind is awakened or drawn to someone new,...”
– Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society) - I’m going to break with tradition and recommend that you read this book now even before I’ve finished reading it. Yes, it’s that good.
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A Note on Reading, Teaching, and Literacy
One of my readers asked me a question related to my review of The Hunger Games and it made me think a bit more about my grief with Ms. Collins’ writing style. I promise that this is the last thing that I will post vaguely relating to The Hunger Games and Ms. Collins. If you’re not sick of it yet, I certainly am.
In the recent past, children learned to read by reading Dickens and...
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Is this about the scarf?
Hannah: So I was supposed to know that you were gay? 'Cause let me tell you something, this fruity little voice you put on--
Elijah: EXCUSE ME?!
Hannah: --Is a new thing.
Elijah: "Fruity little voice"?! "Fruity little voice"?
Elijah: Is this about the scarf?!
Hannah: It's not about the scarf... The scarf is not helping the situation but it's about your tone of voice, it's about your mannerisms, and--
Elijah: It's about my authentic self! I am being my authentic self!
Hannah: If you had been this gay in college, I would have known because I have two eyeballs, two ears--
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April 2012
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Hunger Games Part Deux
If you’re just tuning in, I didn’t like the book (read/watch).
Thankfully, the film adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games didn’t flop nearly as hard as I thought it would. In fact, this may be the one occasion where the movie was actually better than the book. It makes me wonder if Ms. Collins may have benefited from having co-screenwriters and a time limit.
...